World’s Most Irritating Discussion Ever

Generally topics whose counter points are illogical are irritating e.g. Trump is sane, Hillary is quite young, Katrina is superb actor, girls are born to be married. But there are some topic which are next level of irritating. You can’t talk sense on that topic. Few such topics for me are: When-are-you-getting-married talk with Mom, aunties discussing private life, salaries guesswork discussion in employees etc. But the most irritating is girls and boys group discussing date, love stories, crushes and affairs. Once it starts, there seems to be no end. Point to note is that only boys or only girls or even date conversation are not that stupid. It happens when they are in group, especially in first few meets. I know you will point out that I am just uncomfortable. But point is I am uncomfortable in opening up on first date. I am uncomfortable with arrogant and uncivilized people. But this is just different. This is plain irritating!

Now comes the point why is that? Every conversation has element of pretense. By default we do role play. It’s fun as in case of teasing, flirting etc. But pretense is good to a point only. We generally tend to be satisfied by conversation that are truthful, funny, one that let us decode something or gives a new perspective. Now this girl plus boy crush conversation has nothing of those. It’s more often than not just pretense. They are just trying to impress each other using past stupid stories with opposite sex. I don’t know what fun is there in discussing someone’s love and dating life. Isn’t that most innate and intense feeling? Why share that with random groups? Why laugh over ex? Why talk about your date? Even going by the standard of Indian Bollywood society, the stories I have listened in these conversations are neither romantic nor funny. If you record all stories and replace name with x, y and z then there will be hardly any unique story. All are same. They just make me look at boring paintings and art near our discussion table for nth time. Why that painting is not real? Why can’t a dragon emerge out of that and silence these people. It’s not enough that these birds are chatting among themselves, they will also want you to speak. I mean, wasn’t I already harassed enough! Why even drag me to these stupid stories? To make the matter worst they don’t understand meaning of “no” in 21st centuries.

But why can’t I live with it? Because it is just going on in loop. It used to happen in school. It was tolerable when we were teen. But it also happened in the professional college where I was studying. It happens at best of corporate and startups. And to make it worse they don’t stop until the waiter intrudes or boss walks in. For god sake! Please stop pretending.

Walking out of this conversation is even more difficult than listening it. First, they don’t want to stop this stupidity. Second, as they are talking this stupid they have lost all sense of logic to do other fruitful discussion. Third, once you walk out you by default become centre of discussion, which you generally don’t want.

Avoiding this discussion is even more difficult than tolerating it. If you are looking to escape this conversation I have few tips, but there is no guarantee. First, avoid this group next time. Just run! Give whatever random reason you can! Every outcome of that run is better than being pulled into this conversation. Second, you can try diverting the topic to politics (slightly sensible people) or trending topics (social media savvy crowd) or fashion (show off crowd) or puppies (dumb crowd) or Salman Khan (extremely dumb crowd). Third, reiterate the purpose of meet - dinner, work, game etc and quickly get people in action (rarely works, they will switch back to this discussion). Fourth, install fake call app, schedule a call from outside India number and just run away saying “Oh! I completely forgot about this call”.

Good luck if you ever get trapped in this conversation. Do focus on positive side of this - you get to experience the concept of time dilation :)

Product Manager at Google | Runner | Loves writing | Personal Blog-https://xupler.com/