The Curious Case of Chole Bhature

Source — TOI (Sorry, I couldn’t find a better pic anywhere, and that’s a big shame, because Chole Bhature deserves a much better picture and more importantly glory!)

On the doomsday, when everything would be put to justice, the world would realize the contribution of Chole Bhature to the progress of mankind.

A long, long time ago lived a famous mathematician in India Aryabhatta who was a big-time foodie. Confused by the subjectivity of taste and decision overload of what to eat every day, he decided to rate the food and only focus on the top ten percentile. So every day for straight thirty days he gave a numeric rating to different food items. At that time, there was no concept of zero, so he rated using the number system prevalent at that time, giving a value to each lunch meal. On the thirty-first day, his mother gave him a weird dish. A puri that was the size of roti but made of white flour, and a channa dish with spicy gravy. Once he had the first bite of this new bread dipped in spicy gravy with a hint of pickle, he was stunned. It just clicked him what he was doing was absolutely wrong. When compared to this new dish, all other lunch meals don’t even deserve value. However, how could he rate something without giving a value? That’s when he came with the concept of zero, and this dish that prompted him was Chole Bhature.

As the legend goes, the contribution of Chole Bhatue doesn’t stop there. For a long period of time, everyone believed that space was filled with “ether”, even the “empty” space. That’s because everyone had too much reverence for time. It was considered absolute. Then one day Einstein, a clerk who used to mostly eat a sandwich, tried a different lunch — Chole Bhature. With perfect crisp Bhature dipped in spicy and smooth Chole accompanied with pickle, he lost track of time. That’s when it clicked to him time is relative. For a man-eating a sandwich gulping the rough bread down the throat the time almost stops. There is no point in believing the hogwash of ether. This realization on the lunch table made Einstein famous. Unfortunately, no one noticed the role played by Chole Bhature.

That’s why, as a gesture to the immense contribution of Chole Bhature to humankind, I have taken this oath that come what may, I wouldn’t stop eating Chole Bhature. Even if the nutritionists of the world forbid it. Even if the world shifts to renewable energy and in love with its shiny Teslas starts judging even the oil used in food, I will keep my oath. In fact, especially then. Because if we stop valuing what has bought us here, how will we advance to where we want to be. Chole Bhature, here I order you again!

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