Kellogg School of Mangement

It’s windy today. It always is.

Piercing through the layers of clothing, these chilly winds affect me more. Perhaps, when you’re a bit lost you feel it more. However, my cribbing aside, Evanston isn’t a bad place. At least, you can’t hate the super-energetic squirrels of Evanston forever busy digging holes or searching for nuts. Unlike Indian squirrels, they have a unique sense of assertiveness.

Often, the lush green nature of this place and an abundance of squirrels makes me wonder whether decades back this place was a big jungle. It’s definitely easy to get lost here. …

There are times when the right thing to do isn’t the rational one in all our lives.

On my birthday, I received a friendly ping from Shruti. “Happy birthday to you!”, she said. For a moment, I felt it was just like old times. Instead of long messages with a countless number of hearts, it’s a couple of letters arranged in a non-poetic, monotonous manner. Of course, someone has tried to play cool.

I had two choices — just say “thank you” or say what I wanted.

It was clear the rational thing to do was to just drop thank…

There is something stuck in my heart
A song full of deep scars
I try and try some more
It’s not getting any far

On this road to nowhere
I have…

It’s that time of year again
Dry leaves, hot winds, and my racing heart
When we fell in love like we’ll never be apart
For today and forever

I feared…

It’s almost 3 months since my heartfelt breakup. It would be an understatement to say that I struggled. It was tougher than the next five struggled I had in life combined. It’s like being unemployed, mistreated, sleeping on a wet bed with bad dreams, and then made to run, battling pain in every part of my body, all at the same time.

There have been some patterns to my struggles.

First one is inertia. There have been hours I haven’t left the bathtub thinking why it happened and what’s worthwhile to do coming out of the bathtub. Let’s just stay…

You came in my dream yesterday
Looking as resplendent as ever

You asked how I have been doing
Truth would been a bit long so I said fine

“How is…

It’s been ages
Now you get mentioned
I stand as if nothing happened

I look inside my heart
No trace of you
As if you were never there

But ever defiant memories
What do I do of them
They seem to never learn

Holding on to me
Like you used to
But not leaving me like you did

It’s just a day between Monday and Friday
A day I used to barely notice
But it’s different now

First few days of week I can manage
Last few I don’t know how I do
It’s the Wednesday I struggle

I wake up late and sleep more to keep it short
Thinking you can’t hurt me in sleep
Even if you can it doesn’t count

Even then it somehow never fails to punish me
My will is depleted enough that I struggle
It’s high enough that I still fight

I wish Wednesday goes back to being boring
A day between Monday and Friday
That no one counts or care

I have been holding on to an old phone model from very long. Pixel 2 was released in 2017, and I have been constantly postponing this decision. To make it worse, I specially bought Pixel Buds because talking on this phone was so painful. Often person on the other side can’t hear me talk at all.

But hey, I like to hold on to things. I still hear same kind of music I used to 10 years ago. I still enjoy same kind of food and sports. …

In the summer of 2016, I wrote in my journal that I am struggling badly in life, and I need a guiding angel. Despite trying sincerely hard, I wasn’t getting satisfaction from work and not making progress toward what I wanted from life. I was in desperate need of magic.

Enters a person who told me you deserve better things in life. If you don’t let go of wrong things in life, how will you attract the right things! I didn’t believe it at first but what option did I have. I was anyway not doing great.

I started giving…

Ajitesh Abhishek

Product Manager at Google | Runner | Loves writing | Personal Blog-

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